2020: A New Sense of Time
Updated: Dec 23, 2020
Time now feels big, so spacious. Most usually it does not feel like there are edges to the day filled with appointments or things to do, just a day turning into a night. My conversations, connections and activities are surrounded by the amplitude of the breath, the senses and the energy inside and around me and all moves beautifully, and I feel like another spec blending in the world. I can hear my own chatter or anxiety or whatever habit I have and realize that it is just mine and my head, there are no urgencies, no limitations, just my own. With that comes the awareness and presence to notice what exactly was that I was chasing after, or what illusion perhaps I am still thriving for: plans, naming and labeling things, security (lol), commitment (exactly to what can you fully commit other than being completely true to your heart and the love you have for those you hold dear), and realize that this emptiness is revealing so much of what I am made of and full of, and so much of what I covered, obscured, shamed, criticized, and punished and.....the whole universe is inside me, and no need to reach outside myself for the internal work that I want to do, I have a whole lifetime to just relish in this inner landscape so I can start a deep conversation with the outer world.